Dream

My dream today . . . was intense.

Anime world? Yes, later.

Well, at first, I went to a co-ed school. I had the eyes for this gorgeous guy who looked exactly like Taecyeon [only younger]. There were a lot of girls, actually, who liked him. We all bundled up together to ask who he liked. However, the girl he chose wasn't in the crowd. She wasn't our age either, but younger. WHY did it have to be that girl Rachel from Imac? Anyways, yeah. I felt sick. But ya know, it turned out he did like me. :D

Did I mention he was a basketball player too? AW YEAH!

Anyways . . . then . . . it was the anime world. We were in England. There was a creepy aura in the streets of London. Eun Hae was in my dream, too. She ran to me saying she saw something. Two clown-like shadows behind her when she was standing on the roof. I went up to the roof with her to check what it was. In the end, she realized it wasn't a "clown"-----it was a Joker. Creepy, eh? It really was. I saw the shadow too. They were laughing and their mouths were widely, ripped open.

After that, I was having a good time having out with Allen . . . who was Hong Ki . . . who was Allen. I derno it's weird. They were ONE. LOL. Um so yeah. We had this amazing connection. And it was like a Christmas party too in this big mansion in Germany. But we were in England still. There was like some kind of mafia disturbing our group. I was wounded. Get this, I remember this part the most. I was wounded, and this wise person told me to jump into the pool and drink the mermaid's blood. Everyone was like "WHAT?" But yeah. I listened to him/her. I jumped in. I opened my eyes in the water and found two mermaid bodies in the deepest part of the pool. Surprisingly, it didn't really look like a pool . . . or a clean one in either. I saw the mermaids. They were still, pale, and disfigured. Their flesh had been torn and bitten. They were dead. I head the wise person's voice in my head echoing - - - "Bite her. Eat her. Any part of her." I was terrified. Terrified to go near them. As I approached them, I realized how big they were. Bigger that human size. I saw that the arm was the most damaged. I was guessing previous people [like me] ate the arm? I was looking for a clean part . . . The only clean part was the waist, but I didn't want to bite the waist. Instead I bit the arm. I chewed off the chunk of flesh in my mouth. As the wise person said, it was softer than I imagined. The mermaid didn't bleed either. I quickly swam away. The wise person told me to look back, as I saw something from the side of my eye emerging. The mermaid had moved and stretched out her arms. She was crying out to me in her disfigured body. Even though my wounds healed, I didn't feel any better. I felt sorry for her. I realized she was only being used for the healing purposes of people like me. Every time, she would be eaten away, and she would be forced to feel the pain while not being able to move. I think she wanted help. But I couldn't. I had to run away. I got out of the pool. Everyone gasped. I tried looking back down into the pool. I couldn't see anything. Allen comforted me.

While the mafia ran off shooting several people, I ran after one of them. I grabbed a gun. I fired, but nothing came out. It was empty. The man grinned and fired his gun, but nothing came out. His gun was almost empty. Rofl. Hilarious. But then, I forgot what happened. I think I won in the end, of course. I'm awesome like that. Then . . . Allen went to Germany for the Christmas party, saying he would meet me there. I'm not sure why I didn't go with him. Later, I went. I saw him waiting for me~~~AWWWWW. *///*

Oh SHIT.

Did I tell you I'm in $74 DEBT!?!?

LOL. It's 'cause I bought this tinyass tank that was $88 dollars and something cents. I borrowed that much money from Eun Hae. I'm thankful, yet stressed. =>=

My mom thought I made it . . . does it look that inexpensive?

Well, at least I have time to pay it off . . . until graduation. xD

Bye Bye 2009

D:

Today's the last day of 2009.

Tomorrow's the first day of 2010. Wow, a new decade. We can no longer wear those funky year sun glasses.

Anyways . . . a new decade sounds so . . . old. I feel old. I remember when it was 2000. The concept of a new decade in a new century just seems unbelievable. Maybe the year 2012 will come sooner than we know it. Maybe the year 3000 will come in no time. There probably won't be a world by then.

This is bittersweet.

From now on at school, I won't be writing the year with two 0's together.

Bye Bye 2009.

Hello 2010.

2009.12.26

Christmas sucked ass. Everyone went out to work. I was home alone...bored to death. Yeah...didn't even have a nice family dinner. What kind of crappy family do I have? Man. I can't wait to get out.

I didn't even get any presents. FUCK. I feel sooo loved. I did have only 4 text messages in my inbox. The only person I even bothered to text Happy X-Mas was Yutaka Oppa and Kim. At least they care to drop by on msn and ask how it was! FML.

Yeah. so anyways. I have a few more days of "break" left. Didn't even start my Bio project, Author's project, studying for finals...yeah I'm so gonna pass Soph yeah. I wanna just fly away and never come back!! GOD! TAKE MY AWAYYY!!

...um. yeah. I've been eating a lot recently. I feel fat. TT^TT

Man...my iPod broke too. My life is now musicless where ever I go. How deprived am I.

/sigh.

So anyways, drop my my formspring! I'll post 'em up here. Anonymous!!

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/486HoliC

Winter Retreat

2009.12.20-22

Day 1: WOW. FUN. I went with Nicole, Eun Hae and Christine and the rest of the Youth Group at Ye-Eun P. Church. Turns out it was the same Church I went to when I was in 4th-6th grade. /sigh. Until they fought and dispersed. But the ppl now are pretty cool.

We went on Sunday after worship. It was at Big Bear Mountain and supposed to snow but it didn't. Only saw chunks of dirty ice and it was super cold. We slept in this house that they rented. Puahahaha. We all slept in the smallest room out of the three. During worship we prayed and I cried so much. We all cried out to God. We didn't want a formal relationship. Rather, a relationship where we cry out and ask for help. All about God. <3>

We ate yummy ddokbokgi with kimchi jjigae. Also pigged out on chips and ramyun. The game was so fun too!! I was put into a team called DYNAMITE. Immy was leader.

Uhhh...we stayed up really late talking about Christine's ex and Eun Hae's lil' sis. I think we got like 3 hours of sleep, but it felt like 5 minutes. The next day, the guys blamed us for being too loud after light's out. HAH.

Day 2: was a full day there. Still no snow. We just woke up, took COLD COLD COLD shower, did Q.T., ate breakfast...then...oh yeah, we got into out teams and had to make a skit. IT WAS SO FUN. Man...Eric Teacher is so funny. He's so short and he has big eyes. SO CUTE!! AHAHAHA.

ummm...then...we had to walk to Gregory Lake. SO MANY CUTE DUCKS. Hahaha. We did freeze tag [I caught Paul! SO HAPPY!] and made a record of catching everyone in like 35 seconds. Good thing we got first place too. Then there was flag football. Man do confusing. But I did whatever to pretend like I understood. HAHA. Then we walked back and had more team meetings. Then the girls and guys split up to the same gender teachers...then switched. Then prayer about our future, thoughts--->destiny thing, and the other generation well-beings. I cried once again. I was so touched. We cried out to God, once again. Then...uhh...oh yeah. Paul fell for a 14 yr old after she played the guitar and sang. Hmm..I ate ramyun while everyone else ate bulgogi. Yum. Uhhh...then we did out skits and we got 1st place!!! Oh yeah. And we made a big deal out of how the guys all talked nonsense about not understanding girls. We had this rampage thing at the stairs. Stairs are so cozy...our rooms are so cold and empty. Anyways, uhhh then we placed mafia. It's a pretty cool game. Then...we did Truth or Truth. HAHAHA so awkward. And we all slept. WOW. The older ppl were like bashing on the Sophomores. Gawd, it irritated us. Oh and there was like 1 big spider on our bed and 1 other spider on the stairs and we all screamed. I cussed and this one teacher was like "Watch your mouth!" and I felt so guilty. UGH. My bad. Now that was all up to like 5 am. After that I passed out and woke up at 7:30 am.

Day 3: Yeah. SO TIRED. Like...all I could think about was sleeping. When we had Q.T., everyone was just zzZZZ. LOL. I think I caught a cold. My nose was runny. Since it was the last day, we packed everything. Then IT FINALLY SNOWED. So we went back to Gregory Lake and had a snowball fight. I thought I got a frost bite cuz my feet and hands were FREEZING. Anyways, then we had to walk back. We moved everything into the vans and left. It was sad...cuz it was already time to leave. How bittersweet. I know I'll keep this with me forever. I'll take this experience and knowledge with me everywhere. I look forward to next retreat. :D

REMEMBER THE LORD!

I LOVE YOU GOD!

THANK YOU!

Winter Formal

2009.12.18 was Winter Formal. :} Theme was Masquerade.

/sigh. Wasn't all that great. I should've saved the money instead. What a waste.

The food....alright. Hotel was really nice though. Turns out my dad knew the place. He stayed there 20 years agooo.

Yeah.

2009.12.10

Today was...tiring. I woke up really early to study for Geometry...But I failed anyways. No meaning in studying after all. PSH.

Being a COPR is pretty tough too. Got a bunch of senior fucking board member pissed at me cuz...i need BRUSHES. fuck. I stayed all by myself until after 6 today working on the Sophomore Christmas poster. Christina helped me but left an hour before. I'm grateful for her. <3>

So I went to City market after. This pretty lady was staring at my at the bread shop when I was waiting for my mom to pay. She started talking to me and I was like..."me?' LOL. anyways. Yeah, turns out she recognized my uniform. She asked if I went to Immaculate Heart and said that she went there too. :D And she's a graduate of 2002. Her name is Jessica and I shall search for her on the senior portraits on our hall. She's so pretty. Lol.

Umm...Oh yeah. Forgot to mention. When I was working on the poster, it was fucking cold. My hands froze and couldn't move. I NOW know what it's like to be paralyzed. Geez. Uh and it was kinda scary too. It was getting dark and only one light was on. Everyone left and I was alone. Yes, there are ghosts at our school I SWEAR. I overheard the janitor talking and he was talking about what happened and whatnot. CREEPY. and I got goosebumps too.

UGH. I am infatuated/in love with Chris Kain Do. He's so beautiful, funny, down to earth, stylish, perfect age, perfect face, perfect personality, JUST PERFECT. I never knew such a guy could exist outside the anime world. He's so popular too, and such a chick magnet. Too bad I'm one of those chicks. It's not fair. I wish I knew him personally. But...I'm always too nervous to strike up a conversation. I would love to have a boyfriend like him someday. Oh God, will I ever meet my true love? I want to meet him soon. And I'm going to Winter Formal. I shall...find someone there?

OMG I have so much work to do. like 5 projects due the day after the weekend. I can't sleep. fuck.

2009.12.5

LAST DAY OF SATURDAY HIGH. ;A;

Awww it was nice goin' there. I experienced a lot. LOL and disappointed. I got an A-. FUUUCK.

Oh well. Mr. Howarth and his models are so chill. :D

Definitely gonna go back with Rei<3.

Wow I have so much to do. Loaded with projects and tests. I stayed up and only had 2 hours of sleep cramming for Bio. And I totally failed my Geo test. UGH. Oh and I failed the French Revolution Quiz. I'm really gonna get kicked outta high school. D':

Oh and. And Even more pissed. I keep on fighting with my mom. Ugh.

THEN. Read this:

“The poor mother cat kept licking the kittens, hoping it would revive the kittens.

According to the family that adopted the stray cat, on the morning of the 11th when they heard the cat’s tragic cries, they rushed downstairs to discover this stray cat’s four kittens abused to death, and even placed in front of the mother cat. The kittens’ bodies were covered with bullet holes, with blood all over. One of the kittens had its neck tied with a rope and elongated, its chest cut open, heart exposed, while the other three kittens’ heads were stepped on.”

Omg what kinda fucker would do such a thing. I already ranted a lot on FB, Twitter, and Tumblr. now it's CB time. I wish that dude heard all the death wishes. FUCK OFF AND GO TO HELL. UGH. Really disgusts me. I really hate people.

2009.11.28

Thanks to KING Jasmin, I spent the whole day reading He's Dedicated To Roses by a Korean manhwaka. :D WOW. I loved it!! Hmmm...I'm not sure who I like better! Naru or Shinah!! Like Naru is super tall with a model's body!! He's half European and has nothing important in life except one thing ----the person he loves. Now that's sexy, don't ya think? He has a cold personality, but that cute, giddy smile, and adorable glittering eyes totally lightens my mood! I only saw this maybe 2-3 times in the manhwa and totally made me head-over-heels for him. I love how he risks his life too. TT TT Now...Shinah. He reminds me of Kyouya from Ouran! I love his side-swept hair and nerdiness. So sexy....and mature. :D He's the President of his school, and RICH. I would love to be his slave...and maybe be tutored /cough sex education .cough.

Uh yea. Thanks.

So...I forgot it was my mom's B-Day. It was 11.22...the day of the Dir en Grey concert. MANNN I feel so guilty and horrible. TT TT

I think she was upset too, but didn't say anything. Yeah, she reminded me the next morning cuz I was wondering why we had cake in the fridge. FUCK FUCK FUCK me, God. I am a horrible daughter. And like we're so broke right now. How am I supposed to pay my $50 debt?? LOL..and I want to go to Winter Formal cuz they're doing the Masquerade theme [my idea, guys! they used it and i'm so happy]. I need to pay $56 for the ticket and I need to buy a nice mask too. We have no money, so I'm just gonna wear my graduation dress from 8th grade /sob. Oh and I want red dorky glasses. SOMEONE never called me to ask if I wanted one. hmph.

MAN. Thanksgiving is crap. I haven't done anything. My mom and grandma went gambling and they're coming back tomorrow. We didn't have a nice family dinner. My dog is sick. FUCK.

Oh and it doesn't even feel like a break. I have so much fucking shit to do. And I'm so behind---gotta study for Geo and World Civ.

D I R E N G R E Y <3 again.

D I R E N G R E Y <3

$%^&

CONCERT.

OMG. AMAZING. I went with Jasmin and waited in line from 11-7 on 2009.11.22

then we waited until like 8:40 for them to come out. WOWOWOW. It was mind blowing and awesome, guys. Geesh. And AUTOGRAPH SESSION.

I met all of them and shook hands. Shinya is hot and soo adorable. Die was so sexy...like his hair was all blowing. Kaoru is so emotional :D. Toshiya's uneven hair was BOMB. And Kyo's amazing vocal skills (and body) totally turned me on. MAN. I thought Kyo was gonna be bitchy so i was kinda intimidated while going up to him. BUT MAN. He's so chill!! HAHAHA and when I shook hands with Shinya, I said "I like you" in japanese cuz i don't think he speaks english. He nodded and laughed!! HAHAAH AWWW <3.

Ok pics. :D

FUCK

PISSED! I TYPED SO FUCKIN MUCH FOR MY BLOG ABOUT MY DREAM. SEE THAT ENTRY BELOW THIS?!? IT'S UNFINISHED! I TYPED EVERYTHING, BUT WTF! IT ALL DISAPPEARED!! UGHHH!!!

Ok. I'll leave off where I didn't finish. I wanna get to the end.

I somehow managed to run out of the doors. I didn't stop running, and people stared at me. Tears streamed down, either if it was from relief that I escaped, or pain...that I wasn't saved; rather, I saved myself. Then, as if Allen had heard my cry, he appeared with Cross Marian. All of my frustration disappeared, and I was happy again. He comforted me. [btw he was wearing his red uniform; SO HOT. *///*] Yeah. I'm not sure how my dream ended, but I was happy. Y'all probably won't understand or know what I experienced or what kind of emotions rushed to me. But it's ok. You'll never know, but I will. I'll still be happy, that my hero came in the end. :'D

What's up.

I'm too lazy to explain what happened...so I'll just copy and paste what my dear Rei said on her Tumblr. :D

"Saturday, at Art Center Saturday High, our model was this very very large man wearing very very little. He was very energetic, kind, and jolly. He allowed us to take pictures too. I’d upload them, but as I said, he wasn’t wearing much…

Also, we had a sit-in student from Howaritz’s class. The guy’s name was Sen. Yeah he was cute but I already have John! :D Mikki and I switched pens but Sen didn’t have one so I lent him Mikki’s pen hahaha… At the end of class, I was trying to ask him for the pen back as he was leaving the studio but he didn’t answer. How mean! Luckily, he left it on the counter and Mikki found it :)"

I've been sick for the last few days. Didn't go to school for three days. /le gasp.

It's like...somewhat my first time missing school that much. xD So at home, I've been sleeping a lot. When I talk, my voice sounds scary...like a dead person. T T

OMG I DIDN'T SAY. I had a very...nice dream. xD I really did. Mostly about my heroic, lovely, cute, adorable, innocent, strong ALLEN WALKER. <3>

So...there was this huge monster terrorizing Costco. It looked like a ...some kinda reptile. Like a dragon/dinosaur/alligator...LIZARD. haha. Yeah, It was a dark, swampy green. WOW. I JUST REALIZED---it looked some what like Envy's form. >A<

So...everyone ran out screaming. And the doors shut and locked. I was the only one left in there. Terrified. I hid behind the aisles and stuff...nearest to the locked exit, hoping that somehow it will open for me to spare my life. However, the monster had a keen sense of smell and followed my trail. It knew I was there. Then...I was not alone. Some random guy was next to me. I forgot who it was, but it was a friend I knew. I think it was Earl. LOL WHY. But...we talked and I had high hopes that there was going to be someone to save us----Allen Walker. YEP. I told Earl that when we part ways, my goal is to look for Allen [cuz he is my love<3].>

Goodbye_________Dear Cyworld

It's been very nice these past years having a US CY.
I met a lot of people. Found great friends from another country; or live in another state. Fell in crush all over again. PENPAL-ish relationships. ACORNS TO GATHER --- then take over the world. Designing my own mini hompy was fun too :'D oh and reading people's funny posts. xD
But now~~it's all over. Cyworld is shuttin down on Feb 2010. I can't really access it anymore right now.
I'm listening to Babo by Big Bang right now. Gosh I love that song. But I hate it how it reminds me of the cyworld days~~~I used to be so excited to get home from school and log right on to cy...to talk to Shion. GOSH SHION. Ugh. If he was reading this right now...he'll freak. xD
Oh well...But I still wish I'm his sweetie...and he will always be my honey.

10K WALK

Wow. I'm so proud of myself. Lemme just get something straight. I hate exercising. xD It's painful, a'ight? Well...But I love the outcome of it. You're all fit and healthy. Sweating is not a good feeling at the moment. But once you feel the breeze against the moist skin, it feels so damn good. :3

So today was the 10K Walk. I felt like such a loser. I was the only person who didn't meet the quota and DID NOT HAVE A NICE T-SHIRT TO WEAR LIKE EVERY OTHER 500 PPL. I stood out. HAHA. Anyways...10K=like 6.7 miles~~~SAME shit as 7. Uh huh. I was one of the runners. I wanted to get a head start and it was nice. I lost Rei and Jocy, so I ended up bonding with Grace and Grace errr Eun Hae. IT WAS PAINFUL. A painful run and walk full of misery. It took like 2 hours to get all around Los Feliz.

So I heard people screaming and get all excited. We spotted 2 celebs todayyy~Michael Cera and some dude from Grey's Anatomyyy. Yeah. We're cool like that >D. Man I never realized all the nice houses we were passing by were STAR TERRITORY, BOBO.

I felt so sticky after that exercise. But I'm so happy. Came in 78th place out of 500+ pplz ^^. Last year I was in the 100s. Next year I'll be better~don't worry. I won't die Haha.

Well I felt guilty. After that splendid 10K Walk, I ate 2 and a half veggie dogs, 2 bags of chips, a can of soda, and icecream. oh and some fruit roll-ups. MAN FUCK. Now I feel fat again.

But we walked around k-town a lot too. all 'cause Eun Hae wanted to buy her books. xD Well ish ok. I was able to buy my FMA manga v.23 :DDD

so yeah. nice day. memorable.

2009.10.31

So on Friday, I was Mio from K-On. xD

Except...I didn't have a bass....T T

&& I ate so much. D: Like...I felt so fat. I never wanna eat again. But...I still am eating. I ate like 2 minutes ago. /sigh.

And on Saturday (Halloween) after Art Center, I got dropped off @ Aroma by my mom to audition for JYP. I was freaking out 'cuz I thought auditions ended @ 2. But it was @ 4. So I was #212, but I got moved down to 430. I was alone and scared. Haha. So many beautiful, hot, sexy, tall girls...and SO MANY BEAUTIFUL, HOT, SEXY, TALL, FOB MEN!!! <3 I was like /drool. *w* Well...I know I suck @ singing...so I was extremely scared I would be humiliated. But ya know. It was cool. I met this one cool dude. He's extremely talented and told me "no worries". And he came out on American Idol too!

So I was singing "If I Ain't Got You" by Alicia Keys. Too bad some random lady [and not JYP D':] cut everyone off @10 seconds....not a minute. >__>

Rei and I went trick-or-treating late @ night. @first my mom said no....but then Rei's mama convinced my mom :D. And we went around all the rich houses near the Grove on 3rd st. LOL Rei wanted to visit her John, but we ended up not. We didn't really get a lot of candy either. xD But enough for my dad to enjoy.

HAHA.

Then we bumped into Jasmin, Essy, and their beloved rubix cube. xD Kool~asians.

Bleh. It's Early.

Ya know this is my my first time being on the computer this early at home. *3*

I know it's been awhile. Lemme update~!! WHOOT!

::Art Center::

So I'm attending Art Center with Rei. :D We're taking figure drawing with Mr. Howarth. Man, he's so hilarious and fun. I love him. He's cool, too---with his piercing and all. But I'm like infatuated with his work. /hallelujah

We recently went to LACMA...and wow. Amazing. I loved it. It was full of ancient, classical, and modern. The very large orange-ish, brown, clay sculpture was a good experience. YES, IT WAS. Like...it was a path! And I walked through it!~I would write down what I wrote in my sketch book, but too lazy to grab it from my bag. xD

::School::

Rawr. Too much dipshit to do. I have no leisure time! D<

But...it's somehow fun. I like my friends of course.

We read The Great Gatsby.../sob. Oh Gatsby. Oh Nick. ;A;

Good book. When I started reading it, I was like PSHHH WHO CARES OLD BITCHES. But now.../depressed. I wanna watch the movie! :D WITH MY MOM.

::Halloween::

I don't know what I'm gonna be. I still have to consult with my group. The wanted to be a hotdog...I think. Like...one person is a bun and another person is mustard and another person is ketchup and another person is a sausage and another person is relish and another person is a bun....HOWEVER I strongly protested. I dislike sausages. We need veggie sticks.

Well I actually wanted to cosplay...Misa from Deathnote seemed easy. L from Deathnote seemed easier. But THEN! I should've thought this idea a looong time agoooo. A MOUSE. Get it? 'Cause I'm Mikki? xD

Well....I might not be a mouse. I'm going over to my mom's friend's daughter's house who's a designer (and works for American Apparel). She's gonna let me borrow her awesome costumes. Hopefully, they're awesome.

::2009.10.24::

Knott's Scary Farm was cancelled, sadly. So Rei, Nat, Earl and his homies, and I watched ZOMBIELAND! Rei's lover John couldn't make it...Tim couldn't make it...Su came then left for a Sweet 16. /sigh.

But the movie was fun. Like...we bought tickets for Where the Wild Things Are and watched like an hour of it, then snuck in to watch Zombieland. I wanted to watch Paranormal Activity, but FUCK. I HATE BOYS. THEY NEEDED TO HAVE IT THEIR WAY. FUCK. FUCK. Never going with 'em again. LOLZ. But Zombieland made my day. SO funny.

Ok. So. Rofl. I'm on the computer while my parents and my dogs are sleeping. Parents are snoring...My dog Suri is also snoring...xD SO CUTE. <3<3>

JYP_________Audition

Holy shiet. Jyp...& Audition? In LOS ANGELES. ON HALLOWEEN. I'm excited. :]

I'm actually going to audition. xD Haha.

I hope JYP actually recognizes me. T T

Still Heartbroken.

Weird. In LCC, this "being heartbroken" was what I wrote down as one of my fears.

/sigh.

I should study.

Or I'll fail.

Bye.

Guh.

Namie. Amuro. So. Gorgeous.

Goo. Hara. So. Lovely.

Anyways. I have to give you some updates on my life.

It hasn't been so great, lately. I'm failing English...TT___TT all 'cuz I forgot to submit it on line. FACK EVERYONE. /cries.

Also. My heart has been broken. It aches. It aches a lot and has been for 3-4 days now.

Stressed.

Fucking stressed. Again.

Ugh. I failed my Geometry test two times.

I can't speak French.

I can't draw.

My history teacher is so sick, we have to teach the chapters ourselve.

I hate reading and essays.

I have too many projects.

OMG - My first time getting up to level 12. I'm proud. I was just a few point away to winning...but I'm proud. it's been like 2 years. xD

SCORE: 57415

장터

Haha. I said I would post about the day. I didn't. xD Sorry, I've been busy. And I still am. I should be studying for French II, but...I feel like I should really update my blog.

So, Eun Hae and I went to work @ Jang tuh on Friday. It was about before 4pm when we got there. We had nothing to do, really. Just guarded the place...so no one could get through back stage. xD

We were so bored we just passed out booklets to the people who were watching whatever was on stage. LOL and we saw Christine...she said we looked "So asian" with our volunteer T-shirts...and I agree. <3>

On Saturday...wow I was to tired. Waking up early and going out into the sun! HOT HOT HOT. But,..it was okay, too. I was pretty satisfied with my day. I saw a dead cat just lying there...that was pretty sad. D': and its eyes were open. TT^TT disturbing much? Ugh.

Well...WOW I just felt so overworked. For about more than 7 hours, my homies and I were working for this lady at the booth. We passed out booklets and flyers..ugh so tiring. You'll have no idea how tiring it is. I thought I was gonna get a heat stroke. Anyways, Grace and I somehow got out of it for a couple of hours...I think it was 'cause the lady sent us to get some more flyers from back stage...but Grace made us stay and guard. OMFG. So Grace and I were guarding...and this fucking "hispanic" dude tried to get through Grace. He was just being a lazy-ass punk with a short temper..yes, also short as in physical appearance...fucking unfit too. Anyways, Grace said he couldn't get through...and She was just doing her job. However that ass started cussing at her saying he doesn't care about "this fucking Korean bullshit". OMFG BITCH. No one messes with my---OUR Korean Pride. He just stood in front of us for 2 minutes and tried to get through once again. He avoided Grace and walked straight past us. I ran up and blocked him saying he couldn't go through. For a moment he looked like he wanted to punch me. I saw that fucking ugly face of his getting all aggravated. We were fucking irritated too. I tried stopping him, but he...a piece of shit with no manners...not even a man at all as so RUDE. Thankfully, Grace saw this situation and came up. DAMN she is so tall and cool. She did intimidate him LOL. She yelled at him and called security. But he walked faster after that. LOL I hope he learns his fucking lesson. [SORRY FOR RANTING :: IT PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH.]

So...then...Yeah....I think Grace and I bonded. She talks to me a lot. :D

Anyways, as soon as Grace and I had to go back to the booth...we made up this song that went with Son Dam Bi's "On Saturday Night" and SNSD's "GEE" and this man recorded us. LOL.

Um..but we eventually got out of the booth work. Turns out we weren't even supposed to work at the booth and that the lady was gonna get in trouble. I feel so bad for her though. She was so nice and sweet looking and so innocent. D':

Um..we got a lot of free stuff!

YES. And...we saw Earl and his homies. He's so hilarious. He helped us pass out the flyers and the reason why he finished so quickly :: just stuck them into ppl's hands. LOL. Genius. And then...wow so many hot guys.../drool. Never in my life had my eyes received such pleasure. xD

And..WOW the guys who danced to Shinee was so breathtakingly sexy. YUM :D

Oh and I saw Minji! Emily's friend from Trinity. Too bad she didn't remember me at first through. D': is my face to unspecial? TT^TT

Then...I met Bryan again too. WOW good times good times. And...I made a new friend. TIM. YAAY~then we got recommended into a boy scout. I wanna do it! xD So fun! HAHA.

Then wow...after we met Earl and his homies at the playground, we had a silly string war. LOL I stayed out of it. TOO SCARED TO GET DIRTY. HAHA

What a fun day. :3

장터 HIGHLIGHT

어제도 오늘도 장터의서 봉사 했다 . . . I'm sorry if I screw up in Korean. UGH. I do suck.

I'm going to try to speak/write/read as much Korean from now on. I wanna get fluent.

Anyway, I'm too tired to explain what I did today and yesterday.

I'll explain tomorrow when I get on. :]

G'night~.

2009.09.15

/sigh. Only Tuesday. I want the weekend to come faster.

Man, I feel so stressed. And I'm listening to a lot of beautiful songs/music that's really making me depressed.

I feel like a deprived child. I mean...I really want to take art lessons. I've been begging my mom for several years now. I had the same goal from the start. I knew what I wanted to do in the future. Now...I'm not so sure anymore. I feel like it's too late to start taking lessons. If I wanted to be successful, then I was supposed to do it like RIGHT AFTER I'M BORN----like those fucking prodigies. My mom..UGH. She doesn't understand. I should just quit art.

I'm starting to get intimidated. I'll never be good enough. FUCK MY LIFE. FUCKFUCKFUCK. Why so I feel like I'm carrying such a big burden?

...Probably 'cause I'm fucking alive. I never asked to be born. I should just die. Nothing can help me get over insecurity and regret.

Welcome Dance~2009.9.11

LOL. Um...I've been excited about the Welcome Dance for like...a week now.

Well first off...I woke up at like 5:30 am to untie my twisted buns~so they can be all curly and pretty. It was, after I ironed it a little. xD Then I had to wake my mom up early to tell her I had to buy some PASTA<3>8D So proud! But still...We could've been 1st place. The Juniors won 'cause they had Ms. Douglass's help. D': NO FAIR! /cries. And also...our song for the Freshmen was kinda annoying. It was just the verse of "I'm a Little Teapot" repeating over and over again. The Freshmen like sang the song from The Lion King..."In the Jungle"?? Is that it? LOL. And I liked the Juniors. Their song was "We Belong Together" by Taylor Swift...I think. it was pretty touching...the video clips they posted together. I got teary. xD The Seniors had the Mario theme. SO FUCKING CUTE! Haha. But I think our skit was the best. >BD IT WAS SO HILARIOUS. Olivia! The new girl was gooood. I feel sorry for her though. She hangs out with....that Asian wannabe.

So after....Nicole, Grace, Eunhae, and I rode the subway to Nicole's house. Well first we stopped by Hollywood and I bought myself a sexy hat for like $20. I love it. I have a fetish for hats. LOL. A sexy, gray, fedora hat!! Anyways...Nicole and I were kinda pissed 'cause the guy who was selling the hats gave us a good deal and told us to come back tomorrow [which is today], and completely forgot about us. UGH. Bitch.

Anyways...after a long journey of walking in Hollywood to Nicole's house, we came across a lovely, BABY Yorkshire Terrier! So cute and hyper! It really reminded me of my past doggies ;A;. Umm..then we reached her house. We played around and changed into comfortable clothing. Then we watched some funny ass videos on Youtube and attempted to learn the Lachata dance! I'm gonna be Victoria's part...I think. Haha. Then, we all fell asleep, except Nicole was drawing and stuff. WOW all 3 of us fit on her tiny bed. But it's so comfortable. Like...it's those kind of days where it's a hot summer day, and your lock your room, shut all the curtains where the sun is beaming through, and put on the AC. It's like...we had our own apartment. This makes me wonder.....are we going to have each other in the future? D': i just have a feeling...Eunhae is going to achieve so much more in art, that I just might as well quit, because I don't have that much chance, anyway. So...we wake up around 2 hours later...and have a real tea party. xD semi? Eunhae brought tea bags...they Japanese rice one was GOOD. And we had pretty porcelain teacups with Nilla cookies...that I ate all. YUMM. And then, her mom and dad came around with 7 o' clock. We ate KFC [I only ate mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and biscuits!]. After, we got ready to go to the dance. :D

So we have arrived. The auditorium is shaking from the loud speakers. There were so many pretty girls and guys. It's not fair. I fail! But...We met up with Earl and his homies [basically it was me, Nicole, Grace, Eunhae, Su Sim, Su Kim, Stephanie, Christina, Christine, Stacey, Jamie, Rei, Jasmin, and Earl's homies LOL]. Um...Well his friends seemed nice. Especially this one dark Asian dude named Josh. Pretty cute and sweet. Earl told me he was a good dancer and I was impressed. When My gals wanted to go inside and dance, I caught at the corner of my eye, Josh, who was following me in. Then he asked if I wanted to dance with him. OH GAWD. Like it's not like I don't like him. I would've rejected all guys at that point. I was nervous and at uncomfortable state. I felt sorry though. I wish I was nicer. If only I took Nicole's principle [Don't reject guys], then...that wouldn't have made me guilty. Uhh...But yeah...his dance skills were FUNNY. And at the end...JAI HO!! /sigh. I want to go to the Loyola Dance next Friday. I need a boyfriend.

OMFG. I forgot to mention about Jasmin! So there was this little Freshman boy...who looks like a 6 year old. Jasmin chased him around and...wow she's so scary. xDD AHAHAHAHA I LOVE HER. <3

9:09@9.09.09

So it's fucking officially 9:09pm of 9.09.2009!!~

What a special day.

I remember when it was the time of "6-6-6"...People were freaking out. Haha. BAD NUMBERS.

And..."7-7-7" :D Nice. LOL.

"8-8-8" Wasn't that special...Oh wait it was...For the Chinese. xD

That was when the Olympics started; at exactly 8:08pm. DEEP.

I wonder how today is special....

Tablo's Marriage____Jaebom's Resignation.

So I just got home and took a shower.

OMFG. Can't believe Jaebom left 2pm. I mean...It's such a bog shock. He was one of the awesome dudes. D: I truly feel sorry for him. He doesn't deserve the crap that the stupid netizens threw at him. They just don't have a life...and possibly jealous. WOW. I never knew they drew up a peition for Jaebom to commit suicide. Just NONSENSE. I'm fucking pissed. No one should deserve this. I hope they got what they wanted---running poor Jaebom out...and now what are they going to do? I hope those stupid netizens aren't going to resume they're lives as if everything is normal. They'll feel guilt deep down. D:<>

And Tablo.../sigh. I can't believe he's getting married. D:

I-i-i l-love him. /cries. Tablo is one of those special people that you can just end up falling for with out going for his looks. Honestly, in my opinion, he's not the best looking guy around. But, as time has gone by, his talent, intelligence, sense of humor, childish behavior, maturity, and of course, overall personality, has brought me upon more than just worshipping idol. I want to be around him and hang out with him. Already, when I went to his Map the Soul Tour, my breath was taken away by his amazing presence. But I want more than that. I want to be his friend...and I wanted him to be my friend. And now he's getting married. I'm sad. I found out last Friday. After I had painted our poster, my mom picked me up and we stopped by at this little Italian restaurant [which was delicious btw]. Eunhae sent me a text saying this. I cried...yes I cried in the restaurant in front of my mom [...and she just laughed]. I'm hurt. He had broken me heart! A poor fan girl's heart! Anyways...but I still am happy for him. He deserves a good person. :') And whoever is going to spend the rest of their life with Tablo (which is Kang Hyejung) is friggin lucky.

/sigh.

I wish the best to Jaebom's life and Tablo's.

#$%^&

Ugh. Sorry. I went on to blog last night....and all of a sudden....I couldn't remember my password. D: I'm such a fucking ass.

Anyways, lemme just give a few updates. Ummm...School started...xD

Yeah, today's Labor Day, so I'm home :] and happy. Man, school is so hectic and stressful. I've been staying after school until like 7pm to work on the Welcome Day poster for the Sophomores with a couple of friends. Man, I don't fucking understand why 30 people would sign up for the poster committee and not show up. UGH. For Christmas, I'm not gonna allow them to even sign up. Yeah, so Eunhae told me her mom helped a lot...and I feel really bad now. B( I hope next time, we're not as desperate and late like now. I JUST WANNA WIN THE CONTEST. >D If our poster doesn't win, everyone's gonna hate me. /sob.

Ummm...so the new girl group came out. F(X)~Sounds cool, eh? It's pronounced Effects. *w*

Man....Everyone is so fucking young in that group...like 14~17. Not fair! And they're so tall and pretty too. I hate myself, LOL. HOLYSHITFUCK. AMBERISSOEFFINGHOT. I love her, and I'm infatuated with her. When Grace told me this, I didn't believe her. But after watching the new MV, I was /drool. She's hotter than A LOT of guys. She puts their rep to shame. xD But yeah~I think Amber will always have more fan girls than fan boys! And her presence is just amazing and full of mystery. OHH~LACHATATA! girl crush.

Um. For FMA Brotherhood, I'm just waiting for my Envy to come out. It's taking a really long time, and I'm very impatient. D': I wanna see my husband very badly! I'm gonna cryyy. <3

Haha~You know I feel like such a tard. I'm spending like my whole day on an app on Facebook called Restaurant City~. I'm so devoted! I wanna make lots and lots of $$$$!

Ok, my mom just said she's gonna make me stop texting 'cause I went over the limit. D: WTF. WHY!?!? I'M A GOOD PERSON!

Also...I'm really into The One. It's like a Taiwanese manga. WOWZERS. Angus and Eros are sexy. The main girl character just pisses me off. Ugh, I hate girls in manga. xD

Yes...and lately, I've been feeling so insecure. I'm not happy with myself. Everything I do just feels like I'm messing up. I can't draw, I'm not smart, I think I'm ugly, I'm stressed...just failing at life. TToTT

I'm sorry if I'm just skipping subjects and being random...I just have a lot to say.

Oh man. I'm so interested in European history now xDD. Well I've always been in love with Europe, but history has not always been my thing. MAN. It all started with Henry IIIV . We watched a documentary...very drama-like. IT'S SO AWESOME. 8DD

oh oh OH. I can't wait until tomorrow. Eunhae and I are going shopping for fishies . I'm excited!! Hope my mom doesn't get mad. She thought I was gonna take my Pearl Gourami, but...Eunhae thinks he's ugly. /sob. I love my Tiger.

Umm...Oh yea. Man, why are my lenses taking such a long time to get shipped? D:

Ok I'm gonna go now. LOL Bye.