Dream

My dream today . . . was intense.

Anime world? Yes, later.

Well, at first, I went to a co-ed school. I had the eyes for this gorgeous guy who looked exactly like Taecyeon [only younger]. There were a lot of girls, actually, who liked him. We all bundled up together to ask who he liked. However, the girl he chose wasn't in the crowd. She wasn't our age either, but younger. WHY did it have to be that girl Rachel from Imac? Anyways, yeah. I felt sick. But ya know, it turned out he did like me. :D

Did I mention he was a basketball player too? AW YEAH!

Anyways . . . then . . . it was the anime world. We were in England. There was a creepy aura in the streets of London. Eun Hae was in my dream, too. She ran to me saying she saw something. Two clown-like shadows behind her when she was standing on the roof. I went up to the roof with her to check what it was. In the end, she realized it wasn't a "clown"-----it was a Joker. Creepy, eh? It really was. I saw the shadow too. They were laughing and their mouths were widely, ripped open.

After that, I was having a good time having out with Allen . . . who was Hong Ki . . . who was Allen. I derno it's weird. They were ONE. LOL. Um so yeah. We had this amazing connection. And it was like a Christmas party too in this big mansion in Germany. But we were in England still. There was like some kind of mafia disturbing our group. I was wounded. Get this, I remember this part the most. I was wounded, and this wise person told me to jump into the pool and drink the mermaid's blood. Everyone was like "WHAT?" But yeah. I listened to him/her. I jumped in. I opened my eyes in the water and found two mermaid bodies in the deepest part of the pool. Surprisingly, it didn't really look like a pool . . . or a clean one in either. I saw the mermaids. They were still, pale, and disfigured. Their flesh had been torn and bitten. They were dead. I head the wise person's voice in my head echoing - - - "Bite her. Eat her. Any part of her." I was terrified. Terrified to go near them. As I approached them, I realized how big they were. Bigger that human size. I saw that the arm was the most damaged. I was guessing previous people [like me] ate the arm? I was looking for a clean part . . . The only clean part was the waist, but I didn't want to bite the waist. Instead I bit the arm. I chewed off the chunk of flesh in my mouth. As the wise person said, it was softer than I imagined. The mermaid didn't bleed either. I quickly swam away. The wise person told me to look back, as I saw something from the side of my eye emerging. The mermaid had moved and stretched out her arms. She was crying out to me in her disfigured body. Even though my wounds healed, I didn't feel any better. I felt sorry for her. I realized she was only being used for the healing purposes of people like me. Every time, she would be eaten away, and she would be forced to feel the pain while not being able to move. I think she wanted help. But I couldn't. I had to run away. I got out of the pool. Everyone gasped. I tried looking back down into the pool. I couldn't see anything. Allen comforted me.

While the mafia ran off shooting several people, I ran after one of them. I grabbed a gun. I fired, but nothing came out. It was empty. The man grinned and fired his gun, but nothing came out. His gun was almost empty. Rofl. Hilarious. But then, I forgot what happened. I think I won in the end, of course. I'm awesome like that. Then . . . Allen went to Germany for the Christmas party, saying he would meet me there. I'm not sure why I didn't go with him. Later, I went. I saw him waiting for me~~~AWWWWW. *///*

Oh SHIT.

Did I tell you I'm in $74 DEBT!?!?

LOL. It's 'cause I bought this tinyass tank that was $88 dollars and something cents. I borrowed that much money from Eun Hae. I'm thankful, yet stressed. =>=

My mom thought I made it . . . does it look that inexpensive?

Well, at least I have time to pay it off . . . until graduation. xD

Bye Bye 2009

D:

Today's the last day of 2009.

Tomorrow's the first day of 2010. Wow, a new decade. We can no longer wear those funky year sun glasses.

Anyways . . . a new decade sounds so . . . old. I feel old. I remember when it was 2000. The concept of a new decade in a new century just seems unbelievable. Maybe the year 2012 will come sooner than we know it. Maybe the year 3000 will come in no time. There probably won't be a world by then.

This is bittersweet.

From now on at school, I won't be writing the year with two 0's together.

Bye Bye 2009.

Hello 2010.

2009.12.26

Christmas sucked ass. Everyone went out to work. I was home alone...bored to death. Yeah...didn't even have a nice family dinner. What kind of crappy family do I have? Man. I can't wait to get out.

I didn't even get any presents. FUCK. I feel sooo loved. I did have only 4 text messages in my inbox. The only person I even bothered to text Happy X-Mas was Yutaka Oppa and Kim. At least they care to drop by on msn and ask how it was! FML.

Yeah. so anyways. I have a few more days of "break" left. Didn't even start my Bio project, Author's project, studying for finals...yeah I'm so gonna pass Soph yeah. I wanna just fly away and never come back!! GOD! TAKE MY AWAYYY!!

...um. yeah. I've been eating a lot recently. I feel fat. TT^TT

Man...my iPod broke too. My life is now musicless where ever I go. How deprived am I.

/sigh.

So anyways, drop my my formspring! I'll post 'em up here. Anonymous!!

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/486HoliC

Winter Retreat

2009.12.20-22

Day 1: WOW. FUN. I went with Nicole, Eun Hae and Christine and the rest of the Youth Group at Ye-Eun P. Church. Turns out it was the same Church I went to when I was in 4th-6th grade. /sigh. Until they fought and dispersed. But the ppl now are pretty cool.

We went on Sunday after worship. It was at Big Bear Mountain and supposed to snow but it didn't. Only saw chunks of dirty ice and it was super cold. We slept in this house that they rented. Puahahaha. We all slept in the smallest room out of the three. During worship we prayed and I cried so much. We all cried out to God. We didn't want a formal relationship. Rather, a relationship where we cry out and ask for help. All about God. <3>

We ate yummy ddokbokgi with kimchi jjigae. Also pigged out on chips and ramyun. The game was so fun too!! I was put into a team called DYNAMITE. Immy was leader.

Uhhh...we stayed up really late talking about Christine's ex and Eun Hae's lil' sis. I think we got like 3 hours of sleep, but it felt like 5 minutes. The next day, the guys blamed us for being too loud after light's out. HAH.

Day 2: was a full day there. Still no snow. We just woke up, took COLD COLD COLD shower, did Q.T., ate breakfast...then...oh yeah, we got into out teams and had to make a skit. IT WAS SO FUN. Man...Eric Teacher is so funny. He's so short and he has big eyes. SO CUTE!! AHAHAHA.

ummm...then...we had to walk to Gregory Lake. SO MANY CUTE DUCKS. Hahaha. We did freeze tag [I caught Paul! SO HAPPY!] and made a record of catching everyone in like 35 seconds. Good thing we got first place too. Then there was flag football. Man do confusing. But I did whatever to pretend like I understood. HAHA. Then we walked back and had more team meetings. Then the girls and guys split up to the same gender teachers...then switched. Then prayer about our future, thoughts--->destiny thing, and the other generation well-beings. I cried once again. I was so touched. We cried out to God, once again. Then...uhh...oh yeah. Paul fell for a 14 yr old after she played the guitar and sang. Hmm..I ate ramyun while everyone else ate bulgogi. Yum. Uhhh...then we did out skits and we got 1st place!!! Oh yeah. And we made a big deal out of how the guys all talked nonsense about not understanding girls. We had this rampage thing at the stairs. Stairs are so cozy...our rooms are so cold and empty. Anyways, uhhh then we placed mafia. It's a pretty cool game. Then...we did Truth or Truth. HAHAHA so awkward. And we all slept. WOW. The older ppl were like bashing on the Sophomores. Gawd, it irritated us. Oh and there was like 1 big spider on our bed and 1 other spider on the stairs and we all screamed. I cussed and this one teacher was like "Watch your mouth!" and I felt so guilty. UGH. My bad. Now that was all up to like 5 am. After that I passed out and woke up at 7:30 am.

Day 3: Yeah. SO TIRED. Like...all I could think about was sleeping. When we had Q.T., everyone was just zzZZZ. LOL. I think I caught a cold. My nose was runny. Since it was the last day, we packed everything. Then IT FINALLY SNOWED. So we went back to Gregory Lake and had a snowball fight. I thought I got a frost bite cuz my feet and hands were FREEZING. Anyways, then we had to walk back. We moved everything into the vans and left. It was sad...cuz it was already time to leave. How bittersweet. I know I'll keep this with me forever. I'll take this experience and knowledge with me everywhere. I look forward to next retreat. :D

REMEMBER THE LORD!

I LOVE YOU GOD!

THANK YOU!

Winter Formal

2009.12.18 was Winter Formal. :} Theme was Masquerade.

/sigh. Wasn't all that great. I should've saved the money instead. What a waste.

The food....alright. Hotel was really nice though. Turns out my dad knew the place. He stayed there 20 years agooo.

Yeah.

2009.12.10

Today was...tiring. I woke up really early to study for Geometry...But I failed anyways. No meaning in studying after all. PSH.

Being a COPR is pretty tough too. Got a bunch of senior fucking board member pissed at me cuz...i need BRUSHES. fuck. I stayed all by myself until after 6 today working on the Sophomore Christmas poster. Christina helped me but left an hour before. I'm grateful for her. <3>

So I went to City market after. This pretty lady was staring at my at the bread shop when I was waiting for my mom to pay. She started talking to me and I was like..."me?' LOL. anyways. Yeah, turns out she recognized my uniform. She asked if I went to Immaculate Heart and said that she went there too. :D And she's a graduate of 2002. Her name is Jessica and I shall search for her on the senior portraits on our hall. She's so pretty. Lol.

Umm...Oh yeah. Forgot to mention. When I was working on the poster, it was fucking cold. My hands froze and couldn't move. I NOW know what it's like to be paralyzed. Geez. Uh and it was kinda scary too. It was getting dark and only one light was on. Everyone left and I was alone. Yes, there are ghosts at our school I SWEAR. I overheard the janitor talking and he was talking about what happened and whatnot. CREEPY. and I got goosebumps too.

UGH. I am infatuated/in love with Chris Kain Do. He's so beautiful, funny, down to earth, stylish, perfect age, perfect face, perfect personality, JUST PERFECT. I never knew such a guy could exist outside the anime world. He's so popular too, and such a chick magnet. Too bad I'm one of those chicks. It's not fair. I wish I knew him personally. But...I'm always too nervous to strike up a conversation. I would love to have a boyfriend like him someday. Oh God, will I ever meet my true love? I want to meet him soon. And I'm going to Winter Formal. I shall...find someone there?

OMG I have so much work to do. like 5 projects due the day after the weekend. I can't sleep. fuck.

2009.12.5

LAST DAY OF SATURDAY HIGH. ;A;

Awww it was nice goin' there. I experienced a lot. LOL and disappointed. I got an A-. FUUUCK.

Oh well. Mr. Howarth and his models are so chill. :D

Definitely gonna go back with Rei<3.

Wow I have so much to do. Loaded with projects and tests. I stayed up and only had 2 hours of sleep cramming for Bio. And I totally failed my Geo test. UGH. Oh and I failed the French Revolution Quiz. I'm really gonna get kicked outta high school. D':

Oh and. And Even more pissed. I keep on fighting with my mom. Ugh.

THEN. Read this:

“The poor mother cat kept licking the kittens, hoping it would revive the kittens.

According to the family that adopted the stray cat, on the morning of the 11th when they heard the cat’s tragic cries, they rushed downstairs to discover this stray cat’s four kittens abused to death, and even placed in front of the mother cat. The kittens’ bodies were covered with bullet holes, with blood all over. One of the kittens had its neck tied with a rope and elongated, its chest cut open, heart exposed, while the other three kittens’ heads were stepped on.”

Omg what kinda fucker would do such a thing. I already ranted a lot on FB, Twitter, and Tumblr. now it's CB time. I wish that dude heard all the death wishes. FUCK OFF AND GO TO HELL. UGH. Really disgusts me. I really hate people.