Stressed.

Fucking stressed. Again.

Ugh. I failed my Geometry test two times.

I can't speak French.

I can't draw.

My history teacher is so sick, we have to teach the chapters ourselve.

I hate reading and essays.

I have too many projects.

OMG - My first time getting up to level 12. I'm proud. I was just a few point away to winning...but I'm proud. it's been like 2 years. xD

SCORE: 57415

장터

Haha. I said I would post about the day. I didn't. xD Sorry, I've been busy. And I still am. I should be studying for French II, but...I feel like I should really update my blog.

So, Eun Hae and I went to work @ Jang tuh on Friday. It was about before 4pm when we got there. We had nothing to do, really. Just guarded the place...so no one could get through back stage. xD

We were so bored we just passed out booklets to the people who were watching whatever was on stage. LOL and we saw Christine...she said we looked "So asian" with our volunteer T-shirts...and I agree. <3>

On Saturday...wow I was to tired. Waking up early and going out into the sun! HOT HOT HOT. But,..it was okay, too. I was pretty satisfied with my day. I saw a dead cat just lying there...that was pretty sad. D': and its eyes were open. TT^TT disturbing much? Ugh.

Well...WOW I just felt so overworked. For about more than 7 hours, my homies and I were working for this lady at the booth. We passed out booklets and flyers..ugh so tiring. You'll have no idea how tiring it is. I thought I was gonna get a heat stroke. Anyways, Grace and I somehow got out of it for a couple of hours...I think it was 'cause the lady sent us to get some more flyers from back stage...but Grace made us stay and guard. OMFG. So Grace and I were guarding...and this fucking "hispanic" dude tried to get through Grace. He was just being a lazy-ass punk with a short temper..yes, also short as in physical appearance...fucking unfit too. Anyways, Grace said he couldn't get through...and She was just doing her job. However that ass started cussing at her saying he doesn't care about "this fucking Korean bullshit". OMFG BITCH. No one messes with my---OUR Korean Pride. He just stood in front of us for 2 minutes and tried to get through once again. He avoided Grace and walked straight past us. I ran up and blocked him saying he couldn't go through. For a moment he looked like he wanted to punch me. I saw that fucking ugly face of his getting all aggravated. We were fucking irritated too. I tried stopping him, but he...a piece of shit with no manners...not even a man at all as so RUDE. Thankfully, Grace saw this situation and came up. DAMN she is so tall and cool. She did intimidate him LOL. She yelled at him and called security. But he walked faster after that. LOL I hope he learns his fucking lesson. [SORRY FOR RANTING :: IT PISSED ME OFF SO MUCH.]

So...then...Yeah....I think Grace and I bonded. She talks to me a lot. :D

Anyways, as soon as Grace and I had to go back to the booth...we made up this song that went with Son Dam Bi's "On Saturday Night" and SNSD's "GEE" and this man recorded us. LOL.

Um..but we eventually got out of the booth work. Turns out we weren't even supposed to work at the booth and that the lady was gonna get in trouble. I feel so bad for her though. She was so nice and sweet looking and so innocent. D':

Um..we got a lot of free stuff!

YES. And...we saw Earl and his homies. He's so hilarious. He helped us pass out the flyers and the reason why he finished so quickly :: just stuck them into ppl's hands. LOL. Genius. And then...wow so many hot guys.../drool. Never in my life had my eyes received such pleasure. xD

And..WOW the guys who danced to Shinee was so breathtakingly sexy. YUM :D

Oh and I saw Minji! Emily's friend from Trinity. Too bad she didn't remember me at first through. D': is my face to unspecial? TT^TT

Then...I met Bryan again too. WOW good times good times. And...I made a new friend. TIM. YAAY~then we got recommended into a boy scout. I wanna do it! xD So fun! HAHA.

Then wow...after we met Earl and his homies at the playground, we had a silly string war. LOL I stayed out of it. TOO SCARED TO GET DIRTY. HAHA

What a fun day. :3

장터 HIGHLIGHT

어제도 오늘도 장터의서 봉사 했다 . . . I'm sorry if I screw up in Korean. UGH. I do suck.

I'm going to try to speak/write/read as much Korean from now on. I wanna get fluent.

Anyway, I'm too tired to explain what I did today and yesterday.

I'll explain tomorrow when I get on. :]

G'night~.

2009.09.15

/sigh. Only Tuesday. I want the weekend to come faster.

Man, I feel so stressed. And I'm listening to a lot of beautiful songs/music that's really making me depressed.

I feel like a deprived child. I mean...I really want to take art lessons. I've been begging my mom for several years now. I had the same goal from the start. I knew what I wanted to do in the future. Now...I'm not so sure anymore. I feel like it's too late to start taking lessons. If I wanted to be successful, then I was supposed to do it like RIGHT AFTER I'M BORN----like those fucking prodigies. My mom..UGH. She doesn't understand. I should just quit art.

I'm starting to get intimidated. I'll never be good enough. FUCK MY LIFE. FUCKFUCKFUCK. Why so I feel like I'm carrying such a big burden?

...Probably 'cause I'm fucking alive. I never asked to be born. I should just die. Nothing can help me get over insecurity and regret.

Welcome Dance~2009.9.11

LOL. Um...I've been excited about the Welcome Dance for like...a week now.

Well first off...I woke up at like 5:30 am to untie my twisted buns~so they can be all curly and pretty. It was, after I ironed it a little. xD Then I had to wake my mom up early to tell her I had to buy some PASTA<3>8D So proud! But still...We could've been 1st place. The Juniors won 'cause they had Ms. Douglass's help. D': NO FAIR! /cries. And also...our song for the Freshmen was kinda annoying. It was just the verse of "I'm a Little Teapot" repeating over and over again. The Freshmen like sang the song from The Lion King..."In the Jungle"?? Is that it? LOL. And I liked the Juniors. Their song was "We Belong Together" by Taylor Swift...I think. it was pretty touching...the video clips they posted together. I got teary. xD The Seniors had the Mario theme. SO FUCKING CUTE! Haha. But I think our skit was the best. >BD IT WAS SO HILARIOUS. Olivia! The new girl was gooood. I feel sorry for her though. She hangs out with....that Asian wannabe.

So after....Nicole, Grace, Eunhae, and I rode the subway to Nicole's house. Well first we stopped by Hollywood and I bought myself a sexy hat for like $20. I love it. I have a fetish for hats. LOL. A sexy, gray, fedora hat!! Anyways...Nicole and I were kinda pissed 'cause the guy who was selling the hats gave us a good deal and told us to come back tomorrow [which is today], and completely forgot about us. UGH. Bitch.

Anyways...after a long journey of walking in Hollywood to Nicole's house, we came across a lovely, BABY Yorkshire Terrier! So cute and hyper! It really reminded me of my past doggies ;A;. Umm..then we reached her house. We played around and changed into comfortable clothing. Then we watched some funny ass videos on Youtube and attempted to learn the Lachata dance! I'm gonna be Victoria's part...I think. Haha. Then, we all fell asleep, except Nicole was drawing and stuff. WOW all 3 of us fit on her tiny bed. But it's so comfortable. Like...it's those kind of days where it's a hot summer day, and your lock your room, shut all the curtains where the sun is beaming through, and put on the AC. It's like...we had our own apartment. This makes me wonder.....are we going to have each other in the future? D': i just have a feeling...Eunhae is going to achieve so much more in art, that I just might as well quit, because I don't have that much chance, anyway. So...we wake up around 2 hours later...and have a real tea party. xD semi? Eunhae brought tea bags...they Japanese rice one was GOOD. And we had pretty porcelain teacups with Nilla cookies...that I ate all. YUMM. And then, her mom and dad came around with 7 o' clock. We ate KFC [I only ate mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and biscuits!]. After, we got ready to go to the dance. :D

So we have arrived. The auditorium is shaking from the loud speakers. There were so many pretty girls and guys. It's not fair. I fail! But...We met up with Earl and his homies [basically it was me, Nicole, Grace, Eunhae, Su Sim, Su Kim, Stephanie, Christina, Christine, Stacey, Jamie, Rei, Jasmin, and Earl's homies LOL]. Um...Well his friends seemed nice. Especially this one dark Asian dude named Josh. Pretty cute and sweet. Earl told me he was a good dancer and I was impressed. When My gals wanted to go inside and dance, I caught at the corner of my eye, Josh, who was following me in. Then he asked if I wanted to dance with him. OH GAWD. Like it's not like I don't like him. I would've rejected all guys at that point. I was nervous and at uncomfortable state. I felt sorry though. I wish I was nicer. If only I took Nicole's principle [Don't reject guys], then...that wouldn't have made me guilty. Uhh...But yeah...his dance skills were FUNNY. And at the end...JAI HO!! /sigh. I want to go to the Loyola Dance next Friday. I need a boyfriend.

OMFG. I forgot to mention about Jasmin! So there was this little Freshman boy...who looks like a 6 year old. Jasmin chased him around and...wow she's so scary. xDD AHAHAHAHA I LOVE HER. <3

9:09@9.09.09

So it's fucking officially 9:09pm of 9.09.2009!!~

What a special day.

I remember when it was the time of "6-6-6"...People were freaking out. Haha. BAD NUMBERS.

And..."7-7-7" :D Nice. LOL.

"8-8-8" Wasn't that special...Oh wait it was...For the Chinese. xD

That was when the Olympics started; at exactly 8:08pm. DEEP.

I wonder how today is special....

Tablo's Marriage____Jaebom's Resignation.

So I just got home and took a shower.

OMFG. Can't believe Jaebom left 2pm. I mean...It's such a bog shock. He was one of the awesome dudes. D: I truly feel sorry for him. He doesn't deserve the crap that the stupid netizens threw at him. They just don't have a life...and possibly jealous. WOW. I never knew they drew up a peition for Jaebom to commit suicide. Just NONSENSE. I'm fucking pissed. No one should deserve this. I hope they got what they wanted---running poor Jaebom out...and now what are they going to do? I hope those stupid netizens aren't going to resume they're lives as if everything is normal. They'll feel guilt deep down. D:<>

And Tablo.../sigh. I can't believe he's getting married. D:

I-i-i l-love him. /cries. Tablo is one of those special people that you can just end up falling for with out going for his looks. Honestly, in my opinion, he's not the best looking guy around. But, as time has gone by, his talent, intelligence, sense of humor, childish behavior, maturity, and of course, overall personality, has brought me upon more than just worshipping idol. I want to be around him and hang out with him. Already, when I went to his Map the Soul Tour, my breath was taken away by his amazing presence. But I want more than that. I want to be his friend...and I wanted him to be my friend. And now he's getting married. I'm sad. I found out last Friday. After I had painted our poster, my mom picked me up and we stopped by at this little Italian restaurant [which was delicious btw]. Eunhae sent me a text saying this. I cried...yes I cried in the restaurant in front of my mom [...and she just laughed]. I'm hurt. He had broken me heart! A poor fan girl's heart! Anyways...but I still am happy for him. He deserves a good person. :') And whoever is going to spend the rest of their life with Tablo (which is Kang Hyejung) is friggin lucky.

/sigh.

I wish the best to Jaebom's life and Tablo's.

#$%^&

Ugh. Sorry. I went on to blog last night....and all of a sudden....I couldn't remember my password. D: I'm such a fucking ass.

Anyways, lemme just give a few updates. Ummm...School started...xD

Yeah, today's Labor Day, so I'm home :] and happy. Man, school is so hectic and stressful. I've been staying after school until like 7pm to work on the Welcome Day poster for the Sophomores with a couple of friends. Man, I don't fucking understand why 30 people would sign up for the poster committee and not show up. UGH. For Christmas, I'm not gonna allow them to even sign up. Yeah, so Eunhae told me her mom helped a lot...and I feel really bad now. B( I hope next time, we're not as desperate and late like now. I JUST WANNA WIN THE CONTEST. >D If our poster doesn't win, everyone's gonna hate me. /sob.

Ummm...so the new girl group came out. F(X)~Sounds cool, eh? It's pronounced Effects. *w*

Man....Everyone is so fucking young in that group...like 14~17. Not fair! And they're so tall and pretty too. I hate myself, LOL. HOLYSHITFUCK. AMBERISSOEFFINGHOT. I love her, and I'm infatuated with her. When Grace told me this, I didn't believe her. But after watching the new MV, I was /drool. She's hotter than A LOT of guys. She puts their rep to shame. xD But yeah~I think Amber will always have more fan girls than fan boys! And her presence is just amazing and full of mystery. OHH~LACHATATA! girl crush.

Um. For FMA Brotherhood, I'm just waiting for my Envy to come out. It's taking a really long time, and I'm very impatient. D': I wanna see my husband very badly! I'm gonna cryyy. <3

Haha~You know I feel like such a tard. I'm spending like my whole day on an app on Facebook called Restaurant City~. I'm so devoted! I wanna make lots and lots of $$$$!

Ok, my mom just said she's gonna make me stop texting 'cause I went over the limit. D: WTF. WHY!?!? I'M A GOOD PERSON!

Also...I'm really into The One. It's like a Taiwanese manga. WOWZERS. Angus and Eros are sexy. The main girl character just pisses me off. Ugh, I hate girls in manga. xD

Yes...and lately, I've been feeling so insecure. I'm not happy with myself. Everything I do just feels like I'm messing up. I can't draw, I'm not smart, I think I'm ugly, I'm stressed...just failing at life. TToTT

I'm sorry if I'm just skipping subjects and being random...I just have a lot to say.

Oh man. I'm so interested in European history now xDD. Well I've always been in love with Europe, but history has not always been my thing. MAN. It all started with Henry IIIV . We watched a documentary...very drama-like. IT'S SO AWESOME. 8DD

oh oh OH. I can't wait until tomorrow. Eunhae and I are going shopping for fishies . I'm excited!! Hope my mom doesn't get mad. She thought I was gonna take my Pearl Gourami, but...Eunhae thinks he's ugly. /sob. I love my Tiger.

Umm...Oh yea. Man, why are my lenses taking such a long time to get shipped? D:

Ok I'm gonna go now. LOL Bye.